Dearest Comrades!
Jaime Decano came home one night, like he had done every other night in Pittsburgh for the past twenty-nine years, to find his entire apartment pitch black. He rattled the first lock loose and reached in with his hand. He flicked on the living room light, set down his briefcase, and scanned the room. Empty! He walked to the lamp, and clicked on the living room lamp. He scanned the hall, kitchen, and first room. All were empty, like the previous twenty-nine years worth of nights. He entered his room and set his briefcase on the bed. Jaime Decano heard a RUMBLE* RUMBLE* RUMBLE*
Suddenly a man exited the closet. He stood before Jamie Decano, and his Elton John, and Peter Gabriel posters. Burglar was obviously upset, he pleaded that he was taking only something that was his. He begged for Jaime Decano's help. The Burglar was on his knees, crying. HELP! He went on, explaining the tribulations that had since passed in his life. You see the Burglar, we'll call him Hamilton Burglar . Hamilton Burglar used to live in that exact apartment. The kneeling man seemed harmless, and Jaime Deacon put his guard down. Well just then, Hamilton Burglar pulled out a revolver. "Get in the closet."Hamilton whispered. Jaime switched spots with the burglar. Hamilton went on, "I used to own a pair of Cufflinks made from Brazilian coins bearing the likeness of José Maria da Silva Paranhos Júnior. When a man wore said cufflinks he possessed the uncanny ability, to simultaneously seduce all the women on the planet, walk through walls, and even turn into a candle on demand." Unfortunately Hamilton had lost one of the pair while moving to his new place off of Butler street. He had been searching ever since. "Now search!" The man shouted. Jaime Deacon got down on his hands and knees, searching frantically. He could find nothing. That is until, in the far corner of the closet he saw a tiny Silver glow. The tiny face of a Brazilian baron. Is it this, sir? Jaime Decano, reached up. The man snatched it from his hands and immediately placed it on his cuff. While he celebrated his victory, Jaime tossed a sneaker into the man's face, and ran off. He called 911. Before he could find, and dispose of Jaime, the police arrived. Hamilton turned into a candle. "What seems to be the problem, son?" Taking the candle in his hand and lighting it, Jamie Decano responded, by telling him that he thought there was a man in his closet. After the cops left he let the candle burn down to the wick. Hamilton Burgler, and the cufflinks were never never heard from again.
Jaime Decano came home one night, like he had done every other night in Pittsburgh for the past twenty-nine years, to find his entire apartment pitch black. He rattled the first lock loose and reached in with his hand. He flicked on the living room light, set down his briefcase, and scanned the room. Empty! He walked to the lamp, and clicked on the living room lamp. He scanned the hall, kitchen, and first room. All were empty, like the previous twenty-nine years worth of nights. He entered his room and set his briefcase on the bed. Jaime Decano heard a RUMBLE* RUMBLE* RUMBLE*
Suddenly a man exited the closet. He stood before Jamie Decano, and his Elton John, and Peter Gabriel posters. Burglar was obviously upset, he pleaded that he was taking only something that was his. He begged for Jaime Decano's help. The Burglar was on his knees, crying. HELP! He went on, explaining the tribulations that had since passed in his life. You see the Burglar, we'll call him Hamilton Burglar . Hamilton Burglar used to live in that exact apartment. The kneeling man seemed harmless, and Jaime Deacon put his guard down. Well just then, Hamilton Burglar pulled out a revolver. "Get in the closet."Hamilton whispered. Jaime switched spots with the burglar. Hamilton went on, "I used to own a pair of Cufflinks made from Brazilian coins bearing the likeness of José Maria da Silva Paranhos Júnior. When a man wore said cufflinks he possessed the uncanny ability, to simultaneously seduce all the women on the planet, walk through walls, and even turn into a candle on demand." Unfortunately Hamilton had lost one of the pair while moving to his new place off of Butler street. He had been searching ever since. "Now search!" The man shouted. Jaime Deacon got down on his hands and knees, searching frantically. He could find nothing. That is until, in the far corner of the closet he saw a tiny Silver glow. The tiny face of a Brazilian baron. Is it this, sir? Jaime Decano, reached up. The man snatched it from his hands and immediately placed it on his cuff. While he celebrated his victory, Jaime tossed a sneaker into the man's face, and ran off. He called 911. Before he could find, and dispose of Jaime, the police arrived. Hamilton turned into a candle. "What seems to be the problem, son?" Taking the candle in his hand and lighting it, Jamie Decano responded, by telling him that he thought there was a man in his closet. After the cops left he let the candle burn down to the wick. Hamilton Burgler, and the cufflinks were never never heard from again. 