The Garden of Failed Robots

Dearest, Comrades!
This may also go under the name, "Things built by felons on community service." Alas! I am a romantic and below is the true tale.

Before the Carnegie Mellon Department of Robotics, before Star Trek and Star Wars, there was the Homestead Strike of 1892. Between the Carnegie Steel Company and the Amalgamated Association of Steelworkers (the AA). The Carnegie Steel Company would win the battle, kill off many workers, stifle union efforts, and ultimately morph into the Robotics Institute. While the Amalgamated Association of Steelworkers would morph into a support group for alcoholics. 

Hey Kids meet: Ass-barrel the Alligator

The strike itself would last only a month, but what would occur in that short time period would forever change the world.  Mr. Carnegie realized that union labor had the distinct inconvenience of being run by humans. Humans, they had to eat, had to sleep, had to love; humans,  he felt, would be a thing of the past, and so he hired someone to make that change. Lacrimus S. Vulcan PhD.  

Hey Kids meet: Tikitus the Roman Tiki-Robot

Dr. Lacrimus, a somber man, with chronic tears, and sulking ambiance, worked day and night.  He insisted upon working alone, and ran off any and all who approached. Dr. Lacrimus would create metal people to carry on the endless works man refused to do. His previous projects were the Alligator barrel, wound with cogs and wheels, and armed with a giant saw-like tail to guide him through the water from the oil tankers and back again.  Unfortunately, he forgot to give the alligator a head and eyes, so that it may look and see. Many swimmers were chopped to bits in the Allegheny, and many a tanker was sunk by this paddling, oil-filled torpedo.  Then he planted sprockets and tried to grow one from the ground, but plants were never great walkers. That one was a complete failure.

 Hey Kids Meet: Headless Robot Hockeystick Arm Man

His one success, came after the strike was lifted and the money had run dry. He created a robot much like himself. This metal person could talk and follow some primitive commands.  Dr. Lacrimus being low on funds used a turbine ventilator he had removed from a house. The good doctor rejoiced at his creation, and rushed home to call his boss. While he was out the angry owner of the turbine took back what was his.
After that, Lacrimus made other attempts, each more bold, and daring than the other, all were met with defeat, including the flying house, which plummeted thirty stories through the sky, crushing himself, and his workshop. All that remains is a tiny garden in Garfiled On black street  between N. Fairmount and Chislett. It is my understanding that many children have lost digits here.      

The Turkey House, originally named the Spectacular Flying House, but renamed so after its devastating failure!